How is you? Are you at home right now? Cosy & quiet over there? Are you relaxed with a nice cuppa soup or tea? Alleluia! Open your doors and let me in Nookers. Lets have a little chit-chat ay? You see, this is what I like about this sight; it allows frightened, shy little fellows like me to come out of my shell - just a little mind you! Just a little outta my shell c’moooon open up. let me in, I’m a nice guy.
I can’t seem to run away from it, Nookers. Litter litter every where, oh the pain every rubbish collection day I see it - I don’t know if it’s the garbage truck boys or the residents… but … ah what’s the use. On the bright side, if we didn’t have all this litter there would be no clean up Australia day or the council’s community cleanup activities ay? I’ll see if I can attach the two photos of the beer bottles I took at Newlands road, opposite Kodak. Tell me, does it worry you too?
I wish I were like most people and found soapies, sport and interactive television interesting. I miss the good old stuff like “Hey hey it’s Saturday”; I had a good laugh. I miss the good movies like, “To kill a mocking bird” and “lets kill Uncle before Uncle kills us”, they were black and white but they were good and not smutty. Your mum could walk into the room and ya wouldn’t have to change the channel. Now even the commercials are filthy. I do hope most pensioners will agree with me - not to worry! Every cloud has a silver lining. ) and I’ve started reading books, something I never did before. It’s relaxing and there are no commercials! Now I just have to find a good book - I can’t help judging a book by it’s cover When I hear of beggers I think of third world countries, but here in Australia…oh dear o’dear. I walk down Sydney road, between Victoria street & Albert road and they they are… like seagulls and I think; oh no please not me. Don’t pick me, but alas, I was cursed. The begger with the slurred speech says, ‘excuse me mate, have you got any spare change’?
I kinda feel sorry and then I wonder why am I feeling sorry for a begger who asks for money with white paint on his fingers & lips. Then I get a little angry when he gets on the tram, with a female who looks like his sister and has paint on her finger, and starts asking all the commuters for “spare change”. Then I hear him tell one passenger, ‘Ohhh wadda-ya want me t’ sayyyy’. With no luck, he then sits back and pulls out a spray can from under his jacket, sprays some of it’s contents into a plastic shopping bag and starts inhaling it - I hate myself; I should have bought him a whole pack of spray cans.
Pity there were no undercover police around (notice on the tram says that there are undercover police riding on the trams). By the way, I don’t blame the Tramways for this.
I think our public transport system is a rip off, yes I do; see…I buy a two hour ticket but I only use a portion of the time I paid for. I spend 15 minutes, on the tram, to travel to the city and 15 minutes to get back… the rest of the time was ticking away while I was shopping.
Now with 15 minutes left on my Met ticket, I realise I should have bought an all day ticket, but I didn’t know I was gonna enjoy shopping so much and lose track of time did I? Alas I don’t wanna pay for another two hour ticket just to get home so I rush to a tram stop to get home - is this good for business here in Melbourne?
Is legal to implement a system that continues to charge us and does not stop timing the journey when we get off the tram, bus or train? I feel it’s not fair… no wonder why soooo many people don’t buy tickets; I feel sorry for them - shame on the Met! Shame shame shame! I wish some fancy pants lawyer would fight the system… what a name he/she would make for themselves if they won. I’m paying too much for a ticket, the Met should offer to mow my lawn.
They (the Met) should have a ticket where a sweet fellow like me can zip on when I get on and zip off when I when I fffff get off.
Hey! Another thing… why don’t any females sit near me? I dress ok…I use after shave ..etc; I’ll leave that for another time. Stay tuned for the next episode of “The ugly, lonely stranger on the tram; the man with hansen’s disease”.
